On Marriage and the imperative of polygamy

 Marriage is an institution that merges hitherto two different individuals, male and female to form a whole. It is metaphysically a unification of differing tendencies, yet when merged, wholly complimentary to form a self sufficient and self sustaining system. It is the foundation of all self actualization individually, and collectively functional families, societies and on a grander scale, civilizations.

Marriage is a covenant, transcendent and beyond the physical, for it joins not only two bodies together, but also minds and souls, thus a harmonious integration strived for with limitless possibilities for either progress and prosperity or chaos. Everything which is a source of unity is moral, everything that forces man to be considerate of others whilst forcing him to regulate his conduct through something other than his base ego is transcendent.

Marriage far from serving to disengage the individual from his sorrounding, conversely makes him an integral part of a whole, thus, he seamlessly finds his niche and thrives faithfully to something bigger than he is.

As the popular hadith of the Prophet SAW goes; "The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever". This hadith serves to highlight how the believer does not exist as an island, but in the grand scheme of things, he is part of an system which he should consciously strive to better.

The importance of marriage in keeping the ethical and moral seams of societies cannot be overemphasized, for only through it does the individual tamper and cage his overwhelming base tendencies and understand the imperative of sacrifice, seeing the grander picture of being faithful to something other than what is easiest and pleasant to ourselves, renouncing what is opposed to the reliance others have in us and cause misery to whom the course of our lives have made dependent on us.

Marriage is heavily dependent on economic factors, especially in urban centres, biology and psychology are unfortunately blind to this factor phenomena. 

Statistics show that men are less likely to engage in crime and other destructive behaviours once married, thus, marriage is in engineering parlance like a pressure relief valve for the excess energy of that can be either constructive or destructive. The female can on the other hand become vessels of destructive social pathologies, for instance, a destructive form of feminism as seen in western societies which opens the way to LGBTQ, a great destroyer of societies. The unfortunate ostracization of such female and psychological burden can be traumatic.

To guard against such tendencies and possible eventualities, socio-cultural and economic barriers to marriage ought to be reduced without reducing marriage to a triviality, as the blessed Prophet SAW said; "The best marriage is one that is easiest".

Men who are capable are positively inclined to relating with more than one woman should also understand that polygamy is an option for them, they must see themselves as shepherds within the society and be conscious of the huge responsibility that comes with that power. The widow, divorced, orphan and destitute are all a trust on the shoulders of our society and society must awaken to that responsibility. The biological and psychological imperative of this vulnerable group in our society must not be denied.

Men should consider polygamy as a form of 'social jihad', and should they shy away from it, and choose the irresponsible path, surely they will not be spared from the consequences. 

Women should also understand a man's desire to marry another does not in anyway diminish her, as he is conscious of the moral, ethical, social and religious underpinnings of his decision, so too should women be amenable, understanding the basis of her union is worship, and patience and perseverance are the solace of all worshippers.

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Email: walinajeeb2@gmail.com

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